3 signs you’re sabotaging your success (must-read)
Monday Feb 04th, 2019
It’s so easy to ride the wave of momentum once the New Year hits.
“New year, new me”.
But by February, your old habits start to creep back in.
Be honest here: who else has found themselves completely slacking on their goals this past month?
You might have started to see a few wins towards the kind of life and version of yourself you’re working towards and that’s when it happens — you drop the consistency ball.
You lose momentum.
You’re quickly sliding back towards your old self.
Fact: it takes a lot of self-awareness to answer that question honestly.
If you’re reading this, you’ve already validated you’re one step ahead of the rest of them.
Self-sabotage (especially when we’re not aware that we’re doing it) will play out as the unconscious behaviours that kill your success. These are the three signs you’re sabotaging yourself and this is how you overcome it.
You don’t believe in yourself
Two words for you: cognitive dissonance
Sounds like a fancy psychology term but it’s pretty simple.
People like to be consistent — our actions tend to be in sync with the beliefs and values we hold about ourselves.
If we start to rack up the victories and accomplishments, yet still view ourselves as worthless, incapable, or deficient, we pull the plug to get rid of the dissonance.
We crave consistency. It makes us feel good.
Which is why… when we’re trying to change our habits, our brains literally experience “cognitive dissonance” and try to pull us quickly back towards our past behaviours.
Your self-belief needs to change.
It starts with becoming more aware of how you talk to yourself in everyday moments and reassessing the beliefs about yourself that you’re choosing to subscribe to.
You’re comparing yourself to others
Have you ever felt overwhelmed or stressed after looking at where one person is in comparison to what you’re doing? Me too.
Even if you can easily imagine that they’ve gotten a 5-10-year head start— we still feel frustrated and disappointed in ourselves that we’re not where they are.
Yeah… cue: illogical thought process.
When we compare ourselves or try too hard to emulate what someone ELSE is doing — it brings out the discontent in ourselves. This same discontent hinders our forward movement.
Ever heard the saying, “stay in your own lane” that applies here for a reason.
You feel those feelings because that person is working towards something you want. Next time you feel that comparisionitis pang, acknowledge that person for their conviction and move on. Then, do one thing that would move you towards your goal.
You’re avoiding the discomfort
Discomfort is the currency to your dreams.
It’s not going to be easy. And that’s the point.
Discipline is one thing. Endurance is another.
You can be incredibly disciplined and not be able to tolerate the pain and length of time required for endurance.
How to build endurance? Endurance develops every time you resist the temptation to give up.
You don’t discover your best self when you’re at the top of your game… you find it in the darkest moments on your journey there. That’s when true strength emerges.
If you’re really committed to achieving success, you need to develop the endurance to stay consistent.
Start small: try eating only ONE potato chip. When you feel the urge towards more — resist.
Just like in the gym you’re not going to automatically be able to bench 150lbs — you start small and you work your way up.
At the end of the day yourself sabotage essentially comes down to the fear of not being enough. That’s what failing would inevitable mark us as.
Whether you don’t feel good enough, are plagued with “imposter syndrome” want to control our own failures or call it sheer boredom — coming to terms with a sense of failure and choosing not to believe the stories in our heads is how we move through fear and get to the other side.